October 2018

I know I've been terribly inconsistent with blogging so far but please bear with me.

It’s been like the happiest month of my life. It could be from significant things that have happened, or God giving me an attitude of enjoyment toward the insignificant things.
It’s been like a month of change. My friend groups have shifted a bit, my taste in music has completely changed. Some friendships and relationships have grown.

"The changing seasons, and our changing minds; the leaves wouldn’t be significant unless they were insignificant sometimes too. The cold air always doesn’t feel as good in March as it does in October. In a way I want fall to last forever, but if it did, it wouldn’t have the same nostalgic feeling." I’ve also been choosing to be happy, and to enjoy what I have. Small things like babysitting- I’ll admit some days are a bit rough, and I get behind on schoolwork every once in a while from babysitting. It’s only 2 days a week, but honestly I always look forward…

10 things christians need to STOP doing

I know people aren't perfect, and Christians aren't an exception. You can't be perfect, but the thing is, you can't settle with being imperfect either as an excuse to not care when you make mistakes. Here is a list of things "Christians" need to stop doing:

Calling themselves a Christian but not living like it
This  can be a problem. Not only to that person and their relationship with God, but to Christians as a whole. If Suzie is over here sinning then she says she's a "Christian" then the standards of what it really means to be a Christian go down in the eyes of others. People see Suzie doing those things, and think "Hey, she's a Christian and she's doing that so it must be okay." Also if non-believers see those so called "Christians" being hurtful, or reckless they probably aren't going to jump right on board if their view of Christians is like that.

Judging/Calling out sinners
 Telling people they are sinners an…

The edge of 15, the first of fall

So my birthday is in December, and I'm kind of just waiting for it to come. But I'm also LOVING fall.
-I feel like there’s never enough time, but I have become an excellent multitasker. “I can be working for 24 hours a day and think I never did enough.” Nf
-Trying not to disappoint the expectations I set for myself, tell myself I can do it. All I have to do is sleep less, pretty much. Still trying to maintain hobbies and relationships as well as work 14 hours a week. I am NOT a night person, but I’ve had a lot of nights of staying up late doing school work... I just have a heavy load right now I guess with a lot of projects. 
-For the first time ever I used an algebra equation on something that was a real life thing. 
-Taught myself the ukulele in 30 minutes late at night one night. I’m officially able to play 3 instruments. 
-Accidentally put foil in the microwave, and started a FIRE. Who would have known a Chick-fil-A breakfast sandwich wrapper was foil, I looks and fee…

Weekly thoughts...

I know these haven't exactly been weekly, but a thing I do is write down random thoughts in the notes of my phone pretty much on the daily. I just didn't feel like I had anything good enough to give to the public, and that's okay. I understand that creativity doesn't always come right on time.

Beginning to blog; the first stretch is hard. I've not been consistent, I'll say that, and I've had times where I want to give up, but I just decided to keep going. Keep using this to show God, and even though I'm not perfect, he still deserves that. He doesn't expect everything I blog about to show how perfect my life is, because that's not what this is, the way I like to write is just creatively interpreting life. The good and the bad times.
Reading: I started reading the Harry potter series, and I LOVE IT. I just finished the 3rd book, and I had previously owned only up to the 3rd, but I ended up buying the rest of the collection for only $15! If you lo…

Weekly thoughts

-I've been spending my weekdays half enjoying the alone time to get work done, and half really wanting to socialize. And really wanting to go the library. I told my mom she was depriving me from the library... because I literally could spend all day at the library if I could. Being alone all day really makes you appreciate being with people more. But I will say I still wouldn't stop homeschooling.

-I seriously confuse myself all the time. When there aren't words for something. When there are too many words. I don't really feel like people could ever understand because I don't understand myself. I am grateful for those still willing to listen to me.

-Sometimes, I think I'm pushing people away, even if they're people I love or really like.

Late night quote: "I wantto cover my ears but it won't quiet the thoughts."

-The downside to being a creative person. Sometimes your mind never stops. Sometimes it feels like... more than I can take. Every s…

Thinking back to anxiety

Dealing with anxiety, is something I feel I'm always going to do. There were times were I was so much worse off, and I'm proud of how far I've come. Part of it was just being sure of myself, and building confidence.
Part of my anxiety was sports. It did do some good and some bad to my confidence. It helped me to be more confident in myself and my body. It got me to be wayyyy less timid. As well as grow socially, when I was just getting into middle school through freshman year I made some great friends. It hurt me when it came to the performance part of sports. I never felt good enough. Constantly being hard on yourself, giving more than you have, at some point you break. Not only that but I had a fracture injury that kind of made me realize how "fragile" I actually am, that I can't just go playing 2 running sports in the same season. Whereas some girls were fine, but it just made me feel weak. That my body couldn't handle it, and other's could. I ga…


Some funny things about me:
On average I warm up my cup of coffee 2-3 times a day because I get distracted. Sneezing and holding a cup of coffee has me fear for the coffee's life. Mario Kart is the only game I don't suck at.


It's insane how happy someone can make you.

Cicadas are the dumbest living things on the planet. One flew smack into my face today at about 40 mph. I mean, they make screaming sounds in the trees, and spaz on the ground, and fly into stuff at full speed.

Slow mornings with good coffee. Doing dumb things with my friends. Photography. Long phone calls, and long hugs.

Now to get deep...
I thought about something lately. Some times may be good, or even really good. But the hard times are what shape us into who we are.
There's always times of weakness and strength in everyone. Sometimes times of  weakness will pass and weed out the bad friends and strengthen the real friendships. Times of weakness will pass and you will gain your s…