Posts

Weekly thoughts

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-I've been spending my weekdays half enjoying the alone time to get work done, and half really wanting to socialize. And really wanting to go the library. I told my mom she was depriving me from the library... because I literally could spend all day at the library if I could. Being alone all day really makes you appreciate being with people more. But I will say I still wouldn't stop homeschooling.

-I seriously confuse myself all the time. When there aren't words for something. When there are too many words. I don't really feel like people could ever understand because I don't understand myself. I am grateful for those still willing to listen to me.


-Sometimes, I think I'm pushing people away, even if they're people I love or really like.


Late night quote: "I wantto cover my ears but it won't quiet the thoughts."


-The downside to being a creative person. Sometimes your mind never stops. Sometimes it feels like... more than I can take. Every s…

Thinking back to anxiety

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Dealing with anxiety, is something I feel I'm always going to do. There were times were I was so much worse off, and I'm proud of how far I've come. Part of it was just being sure of myself, and building confidence.
Part of my anxiety was sports. It did do some good and some bad to my confidence. It helped me to be more confident in myself and my body. It got me to be wayyyy less timid. As well as grow socially, when I was just getting into middle school through freshman year I made some great friends. It hurt me when it came to the performance part of sports. I never felt good enough. Constantly being hard on yourself, giving more than you have, at some point you break. Not only that but I had a fracture injury that kind of made me realize how "fragile" I actually am, that I can't just go playing 2 running sports in the same season. Whereas some girls were fine, but it just made me feel weak. That my body couldn't handle it, and other's could. I ga…

Lately

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Some funny things about me:
On average I warm up my cup of coffee 2-3 times a day because I get distracted. Sneezing and holding a cup of coffee has me fear for the coffee's life. Mario Kart is the only game I don't suck at.

Realizations:


It's insane how happy someone can make you.

Cicadas are the dumbest living things on the planet. One flew smack into my face today at about 40 mph. I mean, they make screaming sounds in the trees, and spaz on the ground, and fly into stuff at full speed.

Enjoying:
Slow mornings with good coffee. Doing dumb things with my friends. Photography. Long phone calls, and long hugs.

Now to get deep...
I thought about something lately. Some times may be good, or even really good. But the hard times are what shape us into who we are.
There's always times of weakness and strength in everyone. Sometimes times of  weakness will pass and weed out the bad friends and strengthen the real friendships. Times of weakness will pass and you will gain your s…

A bit of randomness

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Some random things:


My sister went to school for the first time in 7 years. (how long I've been homeschooled) Met someone (a friend of a friend) who had first followed each other on Instagram. Always funny when that happens.Got my own mini chemex from amazon. Ready to caffinate. Oh, I just made up that word... but it's definitely my favorite way to make some good coffee. I honestly couldn't contain myself at my first day back at WWHM. I was literally shaky all day from being 99% exited and 1% nervous. That's just me though. Super-duper excited for my youth group worlds of fun trip!!!Found anawesome face mask for acne.Coffee with lemon Oreos are the bomb... or just lemon Oreos in general. Me being a nerd of many kinds, I have played Zelda ocarina of time 3 times. Once every summer. This summer I read 3 books, started this blog, and hardly watched tv; except for when I fractured my foot. I love the kind of people who I can talk for hours with, about literally anything f…

How I was approached by a human trafficker in walmart

Saturday February 24 2018

I was approached by strange guy in Walmart. I was in the women’s clothing area with another woman about 5 feet away from me. A white man about 6’4 with a sleeveless shirt (in the middle of winter) walks up to me fast, and says “girl, girl, excuse me” and he asked me if I wanted to see the hottest guy in the world. (Which I have no idea what he was planing on doing if I said yes) I said no, and he said “no? You don’t? How old are you?” I looked at him weird, and that was when I knew he was up to no good and ignored his question and got away from him. My immediate thought was “oh my gosh he wants to kidnap me” You don’t just ask girls how old they are, and act so weird. He was wanting me for human trafficking by the way he approached me, and asked me those things, and got out of the store directly after. I called my parents who were in town anyway so they came over to Walmart. We reported him to Walmart, and they are going to check the cameras and see where he w…

EmOTioNs, and OveRthinking

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The best thing about having a blog, is you can write about whatever, no matter how deep, how light, how sad, or happy. Well maybe this will encourage someone, let them know that they're not alone.
Overcoming overthinking. This has been something that I have been working on for about 6 months. Mostly because I've driven people away being too worried about losing them, which is a complete contradiction to my intentions. It just happens sometimes. I love people so much that it's overwhelming. Not like creepy, but I just think about my friendships a lot, and value them, but also think about every scenario that could make them break my heart. I am just intense you could say. It's hard for me to let things go. But I have discipline. I am hard on myself a lot, because I feel like I have to be better and meet standards that aren't really there. I can't really sit still, especially let my mind be still. I don't take crap from people. If someone is being a bad fr…

Last of the summer

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Starting with being injured for the first month of summer got me reading a lot more, and I have not stopped. I read 5 books this summer.  I have been stocking up on snacks for homeschooling, because ya gotta take advantage of that. I went to Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado, and took lots of pictures because it was the most beautiful place.





 
Just went on a 10 hour car ride, and read a book and a half between the way there and back. SOOO glad I did that too, because I read 2 amazing books.
Little fires everywhere... I have 3 things to say about it: Beautiful, tragic, and fiery with passion. When I first put a hold on it at the library it had 29 holds, so yeah. I'd say just buy it, or wait a long time. All the bright places... oh my gosh, had me in tears, and it was just super DEEP and I really