2019 //Back to december//

December has had it's highs and lows.

A quick overview Finals seemed to really have me tightly wound. Turns out, cram studying 5 hours straight doesn't make up for not really getting the stuff throughout the semester. Just getting it good enough to pass the tests, and maintain a B seemed good enough at the time. Moral of the story, I'm bad at math, always have been. I didn't do so great on my math final. Although my grade was still a B overall, I felt like a failure.

I actually found a video game I like. *gasp* (I have only played video games on and off because I am bad at most games) Playing Horizon Zero Dawn while babysitting my 1 and a half year old cousin, I just about have the best job ever.

Christmas has come and gone, while it felt like I was waiting forever for some things, Christmas didn't seem to be that high on my list.
A few small milestones of my life this month:
I turned 16
And started dating my best friend

Frustrations Let me just say, I'm gonna …

Seek Me First- God

Am I really pleasing God with my life? I ask myself that often. Afterall, I am a human, and a teenager to add to that. We are supposed to make mistakes right? Doesn't every adult just expect that anyway? As a teenager I never feel I can fully meet the expectations set for me by my parents, myself, and even God.
Expected to screw up What about those teenagers that aren't making lots of bad decisions, and a genuinely trying to live right and follow Jesus. But then and again we all mess up, and it seems adults seem to focus on those small mistakes rather than being proud of the person we are becoming. Just because most teenagers mess up big time a few times in their teenage years doesn't mean they are ALL the same. And it just becomes a stereotype at this point because of such a lack of motivation or desire to do the right thing in some young people today; leaves a lack of faith in teenagers as a whole. And just because your parents did it when they were younger doesn't…

November 2018; Goals, Thoughts, Books, and Life

Yesterday I turned on worship music while already on the verge of tears, just because of confusion, fear, worry, and then God just took it all.
"I don't know if I'm doing things right but I'm trying."
I made a list of goals for this month. I did about half of them...I'm not going to say I failed at them. It made me be more intentional about some things, and think about stuff more. Also at the bottom of my list I added "Don't judge yourself too much for not completing all of these." Because I know myself, that I will just be upset with myself or not being good enough. It's like mind self harm, and It's easy to do, and hard to get over. But goals are good. They make you better in life. My list is a bit embarrassing how much I didn't do but I wanted to share it anyway.
November's Monthly Goals:Read 5 bible books (I read about 3)
Figure out career path options (Actually I have some good ideas about this now)
Eat more & Sleep more

October 2018

I know I've been terribly inconsistent with blogging so far but please bear with me.

It’s been like the happiest month of my life. It could be from significant things that have happened, or God giving me an attitude of enjoyment toward the insignificant things.
It’s been like a month of change. My friend groups have shifted a bit, my taste in music has completely changed. Some friendships and relationships have grown.

"The changing seasons, and our changing minds; the leaves wouldn’t be significant unless they were insignificant sometimes too. The cold air always doesn’t feel as good in March as it does in October. In a way I want fall to last forever, but if it did, it wouldn’t have the same nostalgic feeling." I’ve also been choosing to be happy, and to enjoy what I have. Small things like babysitting- I’ll admit some days are a bit rough, and I get behind on schoolwork every once in a while from babysitting. It’s only 2 days a week, but honestly I always look forward…

10 things christians need to STOP doing

I know people aren't perfect, and Christians aren't an exception. You can't be perfect, but the thing is, you can't settle with being imperfect either as an excuse to not care when you make mistakes. Here is a list of things "Christians" need to stop doing:

Calling themselves a Christian but not living like it
This  can be a problem. Not only to that person and their relationship with God, but to Christians as a whole. If Suzie is over here sinning then she says she's a "Christian" then the standards of what it really means to be a Christian go down in the eyes of others. People see Suzie doing those things, and think "Hey, she's a Christian and she's doing that so it must be okay." Also if non-believers see those so called "Christians" being hurtful, or reckless they probably aren't going to jump right on board if their view of Christians is like that.

Judging/Calling out sinners
 Telling people they are sinners an…

The edge of 15, the first of fall

So my birthday is in December, and I'm kind of just waiting for it to come. But I'm also LOVING fall.
-I feel like there’s never enough time, but I have become an excellent multitasker. “I can be working for 24 hours a day and think I never did enough.” Nf
-Trying not to disappoint the expectations I set for myself, tell myself I can do it. All I have to do is sleep less, pretty much. Still trying to maintain hobbies and relationships as well as work 14 hours a week. I am NOT a night person, but I’ve had a lot of nights of staying up late doing school work... I just have a heavy load right now I guess with a lot of projects. 
-For the first time ever I used an algebra equation on something that was a real life thing. 
-Taught myself the ukulele in 30 minutes late at night one night. I’m officially able to play 3 instruments. 
-Accidentally put foil in the microwave, and started a FIRE. Who would have known a Chick-fil-A breakfast sandwich wrapper was foil, I looks and fee…

Weekly thoughts...

I know these haven't exactly been weekly, but a thing I do is write down random thoughts in the notes of my phone pretty much on the daily. I just didn't feel like I had anything good enough to give to the public, and that's okay. I understand that creativity doesn't always come right on time.

Beginning to blog; the first stretch is hard. I've not been consistent, I'll say that, and I've had times where I want to give up, but I just decided to keep going. Keep using this to show God, and even though I'm not perfect, he still deserves that. He doesn't expect everything I blog about to show how perfect my life is, because that's not what this is, the way I like to write is just creatively interpreting life. The good and the bad times.
Reading: I started reading the Harry potter series, and I LOVE IT. I just finished the 3rd book, and I had previously owned only up to the 3rd, but I ended up buying the rest of the collection for only $15! If you lo…